It's amazing how much a tiny little person that only eats, sleeps, and makes dirty diapers can change your life. And it's not only in obvious ways like sleep deprivation, being in diapers and burp cloths up to your knees. It also opens your eyes to the people in your life and the roles that hold in your life. For instance, it can bring you back together with a friend with whom you've lost touch. Or it can introduce new friends into your life.
What it also does is shed new light on those that are already actively in your life. And that process starts well before the baby gets here. You start seeing who people really are the minute that you tell them your good news. Their initial reaction and then their actions from there on out speak volumes. There are those friends and family that were wonderful to begin with who continue to be wonderful, and you come to realize they are the people in your life who love you and you will always be able to count on. There are the friends and family who maybe you weren't the closest with before the baby, who "step up" and you realize that they, too, will be there for you if you ever need them. And then there are those friends and FAMILY members who you realize are not what they say they are at all. They are not truly there for you -- they only want to get the "fringe benefits" out of the situation --- to see and to love that little, innocent child that you carried for 9 months and brought into the world. You realize that the only thing that was ever important to these friends and family members is to see your little bundle of joy. You, you see, were never really loved and wanted like a true friend or family member in the first place. And now, all of that is blaringly obvious. You realize that these people care only about themselves and think only about themselves. You never enter their minds when they start to make plans -- they think only about themselves and the friends and family members that they actually consider to be their true friends and family. These people are the toxic drain on your life.
A new baby makes you re-evaluate your life and your priorities. You realize that you need to simplify your life and remove the causes of stress in your life over which you have control. And you also become more protective than you ever thought possible of the new person in your life for which you are responsible -- the person that brings you more joy and that you love more than you ever knew possible.
It is for that reason, that I have decided to eleminate all the undue stress in my life. My priorities need to be on my baby and me -- not worrying about the things that those people I have come to realize as toxic to me keep doing to cause more and more stress. Those that have a toxic influence on my life, I have realized, don't need to be a part of my life, nor do they need to be a part of my child's life. They don't get one without the other. No respect toward me = no me. And No Me = NO Baby.
This is supposed to be the most joyous time in my life and I have finally decided that I have had enough and I am going to make it one. No more putting on a front to make everyone happy --- my priorities have changed, and other people (who aren't true to me)aren't my priority right now. I am, for once in my life, doing what's best for me -- and that's taking care of child and myself -- and cherishing the relationships that I have with those that truly love me.
